That Moment When You Miss and Want Someone So Badly

(This probably might be my worst write up. In this blog, i go on to write how much missing and waiting for people hurt.)


Its Saturday night. The clock strikes 10 PM. The brilliant night has set in and Bangalore is be ginning to fall asleep. As the moon light glorifies the night sky, lights at homes are switched off and many people are beginning to snuggle into their warmest blankest. A part of them are searching for a proper footpath also(sad isn't it) .
    As i stand on my terrace, looking at the magnificent night life, a wave of thoughts cut through my mind. The cool breeze while cooling my night dose of green tea, it cracks my brittle heart even more. With every minute passing by, i become more and more restless. In some corner of the same city, she in her night gown is Whatsapping her boyfriend about their next date. Her brilliant face comes in front of me, gives me that teasing smile and goes away again. Her beautiful hair, which reminded me of the brilliant jog falls was all that i could think off. My red eyes hadn't slept for days, my hair looked like unkempt grass and my mind had turned into an absolute nut case.
    As the night sky drew darker, i was becoming crazier. I missed her, i wanted her the most in life. Till now, in life i hadn't demanded a single thing(except when i was a child), and when i finally wanted something in life passionately, i wasn't going to get it. Sad isn't it ?  That is when i realized something, life is just a cruel joke which god plays on a few jobless souls in paradise. He just sends them to this round mass of nature and watches the great puppet show. He just puts in us the abstract thing called feelings and watches the game. He doesn't realize how much of pain it can cause in an individual.
    When you want someone badly, every iota of their entity manages to charm you, and sometimes pain you. When you miss them, the arrows of pain pierce through your heart. The blood drops of hurt falls down, when you want someone to clean them up for you, you don't find anybody. You realize that there are somewhere in this world caring for everything else but your feelings. They neglect you, giving zero chance to who you are, what you think of them and how much you care for them.
  The pain of separation is known only to the separatee, not the separator(these words don't exist). Missing someone is a ball game of two, with two situations. one, both miss and want each other and two, one wants the other badly and the other doesn't seem to perturbed. I can go one forever with these thoughts, but i prefer to stop.
  With these thoughts in mind, i left the terrace and got down to reach my house. A long night was in the beckoning. A long, long night. A happy man is a man who sleeps well. When sleep begins to elude a person, he must realize that its a bad omen. I knocked the door of my house and i was given a rousing welcome by my parents with a over flowing river of words. I ignored it and went to bed. Bed was another pain in the neck. I twisted and turned in my bed, but sleep never came. I afflicted by her thoughts, the magic of her words, her beautiful laughter, her enrapturing smile, the gleam of her white teeth all bought pain and tears to me. Why wouldn't she want me ?? What is she doing ?? What is her hairstyle ?? what is the colour of her night gown ?? These sort of questions, though trivial and childish are thought about the most by a guy in want of his girl. My eyes were filled with tears. literally.
  Sleep eluded me, but it came anyway. 4 hours of sleep and i was up at 5 AM on a Sunday morning. For a man, who used to sleep like a hibernating animal, it was quite surprising. Morning was there and it was another carnival of sadness and misery. A good morning text is what i wanted, but what i got was a restraining order and a whatsapp block. Her thoughts continued to fill me and caused more and more hurt. She on the other hand was planning a brunch date in the leela palace with her beau wearing the best of clothes and the happiest of smiles. Breakfast seemed like a heap of bitter medicine and my favorite filter coffee felt like a cough syrup. My hope in life was gone, because of one person.
   As the day progressed, i messed up almost everything that came my way. I spilt orange juice on the couch, crashed my mother's galaxy S, i accidentally broke my grand father's spectacles and had a bad fall on the stairs. All these were the causes of a disturbed mind, an erratic thinking path and a stream of sad thoughts. This is how much a single person can actually manage to trouble you.
   Many a day passed like this, i became droopy, lost all hope in life and became mad. I wanted a new lease of life.



I am now going to end this piece of writing on a abrupt without a proper ending and a solution for such a situation.

According to me, the only solution in such a situation is doing what you love or anything which will change your thinking.

Human relations is like new puppy you get home. You need to take care of it till it reaches a stage when it can take care of it on its own. When a relationship(not necessarily boy-girl) reaches a certain stage, it will drift along the path best for it. Until then, one must make a proper effort to save it. If it doesn't work out even then, it means it doesn't have destiny's permission to continue.


( THE ABOVE STORY IS FICTION FROM START TO END)